This is really more for me - I've decided to blog some main points I learn from the books that I'm reading. Now, I haven't been reading much lately... so this blog might be pretty empty! :P But I hope that this will help me absorb and remember some of the things that I'm learning (and maybe it might encourage some people as well!).
Everday Talk, like it says on its cover, is a book on "talking freely and naturally about God with your children." Though the author, Younts, writes this book with the intention of teaching parents to witness to their children, I find that the lessons I learn are not limited to speaking only with children. I'm not married and I don't have kids; I'm reading this book in hopes that it will prepare me as I work with children in the Toddler's Ministry at my church. I find that this book is helpful in encouraging and reminding me of how important my everyday speech is -- with children, with roommates, and especially with the unbelievers around me. Each chapter is very short (and sweet! averaging around 13 pages) and he includes application questions in the end.
Chapter Six: Big Sins, Little Sins
In this chapter, Younts discusses the importance of consistency in discipline. Regardless of how "little" the sin or how inconvenient it is for us, we must not neglect disciplining our children. If a parents tells his/her child not to run in the house, the parent must be consistent in addressing the issue of disobedience every time they find the child running in the house. In many cases, parents reprove their children only when their child’s disobedience poses some sort of “large” consequence or loss. For example, if the child runs and knocks over a cup of water, the parent sees that no "harm" has been done, helps the child clean up, and ignores the fact that the child has disobeyed the rule that the parent has put in place. However, if the child runs and knocks over an expensive vase, the child will be reprimanded for breaking something of value and scolded for not obeying the parent.
When we are inconsistent in teaching our children by distinguishing between "little" and "big" sin, we are not only confusing our children with our actions and words, but we are also teaching them that disobedience is only bad when the consequence is large. They may grow up and misinterpret that the commands that God has given to us are only applicable when it meets our self interest. For example, a child may grow up to be a teenager who views that sex outside of marriage is acceptable, as long as no one gets pregnant or develops a communicable disease. Obviously, this is not the lesson that we want to be teaching our children; we want to them obey God at all times, not only when the rules seem to benefit us.
Secondly, there is the issue of the motivation at heart. We do not want to teach our children to obey God only for the sake of obeying Him. Discipline is important, but we must remember that discipline exists only as a tool to guide our children to love and fear the Lord. If at any point our chastisement steers off this route, it is no longer glorifying God and becomes a form of self-glorification (you are not disobeying God, but ME) and abuse.
It may be tedious and difficult to reprimand our children every time they are disobedient, especially when the act seems innocent or unimportant. We must remember the reason why God commands parents to teach our children -- because our children do not know any better. Our every act and word will mold and shape their values and thinking. Therefore, until our children are able to make their own decisions and discern what is right in God's eyes, we must be zealous in protecting and guiding our children to love and fear the Lord.
Quotes
"What is important to you will dominate your thinking. The way that you talk and listen and give directions shows what is important to you."
"If your mind is focused on what the world says is important, then you are ordinary. However, if you are focused on what God says is important, then you have taken a vital step toward holiness."
"You cannot discipline properly until you see yourself as God's agent to your kids; both you and they are accountable first of all to God. Therefore, your focus in discipline is to hold your children accountable to God."
"God does not have a category of big sins (those which a parent gets really upset about), and little sins (those which the parent will usually ignore). God wants to be loved and obeyed at all times, not just when the consequences seem great to us. You must discipline your children every time they are disobedient... God requires you to bring up your children in the fear of the Lord."
"It is dangerous to judge the seriousness of sin by the consequences."
"If Andrew thinks he might break some crystal and get in big trouble and decides not to run for that reason, he has not made a decision to love God but, rather, to protect himself. This is not the everyday obedience that God desires, it is self-interest."
"Parent when you discipline for"big sins" and overlook "little sins" you are setting a bad example for your children. You are teaching them, by your own example, to obey only when it seems necessary to them. You are teaching them it is okay to disobey if they don't get caught. You are showing them that pleasing God is not really very important -- certainly not worth much inconvenience or self-denial."
